My fingers intertwined, they turned a ghostly white as I fell to my knees before the altar. I gasped as my chest tightened with the need for oxygen, a consequence of my persistent sobs. Sounds of worship echoed around my vulnerable state, but my thoughts were focused only on His presence. Memories of the past flowed through my mind like the pages of a book, and as I flipped through the pages, pain and remorse plagued my broken faith. As I bowed my head in shame and swallowed the sight in the twilight, I silently choked out, "I'm so sorry..." I have been nothing but dishonest with you, Lord..." I said with a tremor as my mind finally began to collapse, approaching failure to hold back my harsh cries. “I could have done more for you… now I know. I don't deserve your infinite love and forgiveness, God…” I have dedicated my entire life to you, Lord, yet I turned my back on you. My harsh words that spoke of the doubt I had in your presence were nothing but lies. Even before this retreat I attended against my will, the little glimmer of faith in the my heart had almost lost its spark,” I whimpered silently to myself, savoring the salty, metallic taste of blood in my mouth as I bit my tongue to respond. a new, fresh wave of tears. My legs continued to go numb from my current sitting position, and I bitterly regarded it as punishment for my disloyalty. The melody of the Gospel was now a low murmur, and the faithful around me gradually acquired a form identical to mine. The sanctuary was filled with whispers of prayer and the lights were dimmed to focus on the stage. I felt like I was alone with God now, as I conversed with Him. I tensed as one hand gently caressed my shoulder, the other carefully placed a...paper center...I was gripped with passion to spread His word. to those who suffer, just like me. At the end of the retreat, I returned home baptized into a new life led by God. I was no longer embarrassed about the Lord, because I knew and believed that He was truly real and omnipotent. With my renewed loyalty, I worshiped Him closely wherever I went. As the seasons changed and graduation passed, I joyfully accepted the opportunity to spend my time in the Philippines and further develop my devotion to God. I beamed from the back of the small, cramped church as I observed the new youth followers of Christ and old man listens carefully to the sermon. I walked out quietly and sat on a nearby bench, folding my hands neatly in my lap. “Thank you, Lord,” I said, looking up at the clear blue sky, “for giving me this opportunity. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to serve you.”