Almost every day throughout high school I experienced something I couldn't identify. It had been over a year since I graduated and I couldn't put the emotions into words. I discovered that I was not free in my mind. I was in a prison. One that I could not touch and for many years I could not see. After several visits to counselors and therapists I finally had the words to describe my experience. It had been brought to my family's attention that I had some sort of psychological problem and something needed to be done. I had always been labeled as a shy and quiet boy and, like my family, I had never thought anything of my behavior. Now, however, it had become more obvious. I had told my parents about the kind of problems I was having. I basically didn't want to talk to anyone or be around anyone I didn't know. I really didn't want to leave the house for any reason for fear of having to talk to someone. I was so critical and scrutinizing of myself that I couldn't even get into a conversation. Everyone seems to have a part of themselves that lends itself to thoughts of pessimism and failure, but mine was something that was always at the forefront of my mind. Something that told me that everything I had done was a failure and that whatever I did would not be successful. After discussing with my family it was decided that I should move from my parents' house to a place where I could get treatment and find a job. I was to reside with my sister Lisa, her partner Brynn, and their St. Bernard in Greensboro. As we pulled out of my parents' driveway, the circumstances seemed very surreal. My entire way of life had been turned upside down after just a few hours of consideration. I was really "at sea" in... middle of paper... I saw that part of me that had hurt me was starting to show itself and I took action by completely clearing my mind before anything could take over. In addition to eradicating negativity, I also forced my mind into happiness through concentration and meditation. Nothing has changed my life more since I realized I had to make who I was, something I chose, and not something that just happened. Since that revelation nothing seemed the same anymore, as if I could see the world with new eyes. It changed everything from my taste in music, literature and film. Things of a dark and pessimistic nature held a strong fascination for me, yet I found that many of the things I once enjoyed no longer seemed to entertain me. I remembered the state of mind I once had and now, seeing how I've changed, I know I can never go back to the prison I came from.