“What we talk about when we talk about love” by Raymond Carver is a story about four friends sitting around the kitchen table drinking gin and discussing their different opinions on what their definitions of love are (Carver 330). The two themes of the story are love and language. The author portrays his themes through story plot, conflict, point of view, and characters. The theme of the story is the elusive nature of love. Throughout the story, the nature of love remains elusive. Despite the characters' efforts to define it, no one is able to give a clear definition. Mel tries to pinpoint the meaning of love by giving examples, but never comes to a conclusion and only confuses his friends (Carver 337). Both Laura and Nick's friend's conversation somehow got to the topic of love (Carver 330). Mel thinks that “true love was nothing more than spiritual love” (Carver 330). Terri said her ex “loved her so much he tried to kill her” (Carver 330). Nick and Laura do not really express their opinions on the matter, but show it through small gestures (Carver 333). The gestures demonstrate that love cannot be explained, but it can be shown. The conflict of the story goes hand in hand with the plot. Friends don't all agree on the meaning of love and no one is able to explain or demonstrate what love really is. The narrator of the story is Nick, who is Laura's husband (Carver 330). Nick doesn't say much throughout the story, but his physical movements and remarks are how he reveals his meaning of love to his friends. (Carver 333). Nick only speaks four times during the conversation, the first two times he spoke he asked questions, once he suggested that love is absolute and the last time he spoke to say that he and Laura are lucky (Carver 333). The things he says aren't really relevant, but the things that mean the most are the things left unsaid. His observation shows how crazy his friend's ideas about love are. Throughout the story he touches Laura a lot, holds her, kisses her hand, and touches her leg under the table (Carver 333). The actions he takes are authentic gestures and show that even though his friends can say whatever they want about love, in the end their words don't matter, it's how they show and demonstrate it.