Topic > The Elimination of Gender Roles and Expectations

The poems "Marriage" by Marianne Moore and "Home Burial" by Robert Frost demonstrate a clear separation between men and women. Gender equality is a controversial issue today, but it really began to emerge in the late 1800s and early 1900s, when modern American poetry was also on the rise. In these poems the social expectations, verbal conversations, and even the written poetic structure of the poems all hint at a separation between the two sexes. Many critics began to grapple with the idea of ​​whether or not these works were intended to mock the idea of ​​society's inequalities or whether they demonstrated how they believed women should act, be treated, and be viewed by society. The point of view of the poets can be seen clearly reflected in these works. Whether it is their view of the unity of marriage or gender roles, the narrators of the works can be seen to have a sense that the expectations of both men and women are unfair and unjust. Moore takes the stand on whether or not woman can have and enjoy both marriage and independence, while Frost contemplates the idea of ​​the "disturbed woman and the madman." Both Moore and Frost's views are aptly displayed within these texts through their writing style. While Moore chose to write "Marriage" in a more formal, lengthy, and intelligent style, Frost chose to write "Home Burial" in a more narrative manner. Both poems seem to highlight the idea of ​​inequalities between men and women. In "Marriage" it seems that Moore believes that men have the upper hand in marriage, while Frost's "Home Burial" seems to believe that women have the more dominant role in a relationship. The biggest problem that poets seem to try to convey to their readers is that if society simply eliminated the idea of ​​gender roles and social expectations, then there would be no conversation about what is right and wrong within the unity of marriage. If men and women didn't feel like they had to uphold a certain standard to be perceived as "appropriate" in the eyes of society, then the unity of marriage could be much more successful. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an original essay "Marriage" by Marianne Moore is a longer poem containing key quotes and references. The entire poem contains a lot of history, which puts the poem into perspective on how long these issues in the marriage unit have been going on. The entire poem takes a stand on independence. The poem's narrator, who is neither confirmed nor denied to be Moore herself, contemplates the idea of ​​whether or not women can have and enjoy both marriage and freedom. Moore seems to believe that while most people believe marriage is a strain, she believes it is a struggle. Marriage shouldn't hold you back from your independence, it should support you. While “Marriage” raises the issue of unsuccessful marriages because they impede independence, Robert Frost’s “Home Burial” raises the idea that perhaps marriage inequalities stem from unfair gender roles and expectations. This poem is written in a more narrative way and is about a man and a woman who have lost their child. Throughout the poem the couple argues back and forth about the "correct" way to mourn their loss. While the wife believes the man is "selfish" and hurts the wrong way, it seems the man feels misunderstood. Every time he tries to talk about how he feels, he seems to be rejected by the woman. This back and forth between the two characters raises the question of whether or not they can be men and womentruly happy within their marriage when there are societal expectations or their gender roles that they must uphold. It is difficult for the couple to please each other when they are too busy trying to please society first. Many critics argue that Moore believed that men had the dominant role in a relationship, and because of this she had to choose between marriage and freedom. David Bergman states in his critique "Marianne Moore and the Problem of 'Marriage'" that, a woman must choose between two paths: the path of intelligence and usefulness or the path of marital and maternal sacrifice. Each path is valuable and should be encouraged by society as each leads to social well-being, but the paths are mutually exclusive. The woman who attempts to raise children and pursue a career will ultimately fail at both. (Bergman 142) Bergman argues that Moore believes that a woman must choose one of two options; education or family. She argues that Moore believed that both had the same great value, but due to society's expectations there is no way for a woman to do both at the same time. Bergman states that if a woman were to choose both, she would only end up failing. She believes Moore feels that women aren't capable of succeeding in both fields at the same time. One could argue that Moore actually has a sense that women can succeed in both fields, but the only reason she has yet to succeed in both is because of the social barriers holding her back. This can be seen later in Bergman's criticism when she states that "she believed that women were equal - not superior - to men, and simply needed the removal of barriers to show their true aptitude" (Bergman 144). The critic states here that Moore believes that if society simply removed the barriers separating men and women, the sexes could be considered equal. She doesn't believe that men are better than women, but that they are capable of doing all the same things. Similar personal views can be seen reflected in Frost's "Home Burial". Frost's views, like Moore's, concern equality between the sexes. But unlike Moore, Frost seems to argue that women are actually more dominant than men in marriage. Katherine Kearns argues in "The Place Is The Asylum" that Frost is playing with the idea of ​​the "disturbed woman" and the "mad man." She states that Frost believed that women are powerful beings, but that they can only be truly powerful once they escape the "madhouse", also known as their family. Kearns states that, "The wife is on the verge of leaving the home, crossing the threshold from marital asylum to freedom. The home is suffocating her" (Kearns 194). Kearns discusses in this passage how Frost's views were demonstrated in "Home Burial". The wife feels that the only way to free herself from her marital and maternal duties is to leave her home and start a new life. The power of decisions to be made within the marriage has been left to the wife, without leaving any to the husband. It could also be argued that the husband has the same power because he can leave just as easily as the wife. The fate of the relationship is in their hands, not just one. Although the fate of the relationship depends on both partners, it seems that Frost is asking the question of whether either partner should leave if there were no social expectations separating them? The husband in "Home Burial" does not feel justified in leaving because he does not feel that his wife did anything wrong, according to social gender role expectations, but she did. She denied her husband rights to his ownfeelings and denied him understanding because he is a man and feels he must suffer in a certain way. The woman has all the power in the relationship because it is the man who has "done something wrong", so it is acceptable for her to leave, while for him it is not. An important issue that both poets faced was that of dealing with future problems. in poems as something of great importance. Both writers realized that how they wrote their poems was just as important as what they were writing about. This is most likely why, unlike Frost, Moorewrote his poetry in a more serious and conversational tone. In Heather White's "Morals, Manners, and Marriage" she states that "if she were to be taken seriously as criticism it would be in the persuasive power of her speech, whether she spoke...establishing herself as a woman speaking about high culture" (White 493 ). By this White meant that in Moore's opinion this was a male-dominated society, so she needed to make it known that she was as good as any male poet. This was best done through its conversational and powerful tone. She is arguing that Moore understood that the style in which she wrote was as important as what she was writing about if she wanted her opinions to be taken seriously as a writer. Moore knew she was a talented writer, it was just a matter of getting everyone else to take her works as seriously as she believed she deserved to be. On this basis I will then read "Marriage" to clarify his understanding of conversational language. style as a response to his demands to be rigorously and unapologetically faithful to his gift for invention, as well as accountable to the clarity and moral force of his work. (White 490) White argues that without Moore's perfect writing style his points would never have reached his audience. The critic believes that it is with this style of writing that Moore remains true to her talent as a writer and this is what makes "Marriage" so popular in the equality movement. Frost took a different approach to grabbing his readers' attention. Being an established and respected male poet, he decided to take a more artistic stance when he wrote "Home Burial". The meaning behind this text is slightly more difficult to discover and requires much more analytical analysis because unlike Moore, who clearly stated the point he was trying to make in his work, Frost's argument can easily get lost in the structure playful similar to a " Home Burial " story. “The Place and the Asylum” by Katherine Kearns highlights some of the symbols that help shape Frost's argument toward equality that are often lost due to their commonality in everyday life. They are often overlooked. Their homes embody them so that symbolically every threshold is sexually charged; the "cellar holes" become wells representing female sexuality, birth, death and the grave, and the attics are minds filled with the bones of old lovers. Frost's men can no more satisfy their women than they can fill homes with life and children. (Kearns 191) Kearns here explains how Frost uses the symbol of a house to describe how men cannot satisfy a woman's needs. The death of the child in the marriage represents the loss of female sexuality and how because of this the man in the relationship is now inadequate for his wife/lover/mother. Marianne Moore begins "Marriage" by comparing marriage to an "enterprise" (Anthology of Modern American Poetry 323). An undertaking in this case could be one of two things: "a project or undertaking, typically difficult or requiring effort" (Dictionary.com) or“a company or business” (Dictionary.com). Both definitions set the tone for the entire poem. It is unknown whether Moore meant that marriage was a "project" that one struggled with the most, or that it is more of a business than a unit, but both, in his eyes, are the true version of marriage. By using the term "business," regardless of Moore's true definition of it, it is clear that people are being deceived when they believe that marriage is the unity between two people who love each other and that once they say their vows they can live "happily and happy." This word sets the mood for the entire poem because now the reader no longer sees marriage in such a happy light, they are much more skeptical. Moore then goes on to repeat the word "one" (Anthology of Modern American Poetry 324), alluding to the fact that in a marriage there can be no two, that each person functions best individually. In the "Encyclopedia of American Poetry: The Twentieth century" by Andrew Epstein, he argued that she [Moore] feared that marriage artificially bound two complex, changing, and often incompatible beings into a false and impossible unity. Furthermore, due to the power dynamics in a patriarchal society, Moore felt that such a bond can severely limit a woman's potential, particularly if the woman is a free-thinking, creative artist. Epstein describes how Moore's personal feelings about women having to choose between maternal duties and individual freedom were projected into “Marriage.” She feels that marriage between a man and a woman prevents the woman from expressing her true potential because once married she is expected to behave like a wife and mother, not as an individual. This can be seen in the poem in lines 31-34, "'I would like to be alone'; to which the visitor responds, 'I would like to be alone; why not be alone together?'" (Anthology of Modern American Poetry 324) Although the woman wants to be alone, society's expectations suggest that the couple would be better off together. Note that the visitor responds that the two may be "alone together." This statement is contradictory: in a successful marriage neither partner should ever feel or be truly alone. It could be argued that partners would feel alone while together because neither of them is truly recognized. In lines 83-86 he states that, "forgetting that there is in woman a quality of mind which as an instinctive manifestation is not certain" (Anthology of Modern American Poetry 326). Here the narrator states that it is not safe for someone to forget that a woman is an individual with a powerful mind and the ability to do everything a man could do. Moore demonstrates how often a woman can lose herself in her marriage when she introduces the two main roles of the poem. Epstein states that Moore quickly introduces two opposing archetypal beings, Eve and Adam, who dominate the poem and serve as vehicles for his ironic commentary on the battle of the sexes. Both are portrayed in a mixture of positive and negative terms: they are beautiful but flawed, "living on words" but completely narcissistic. At the heart of the poem is a heated dialogue between these generic "He" and "She", a fierce conversation that highlights the conflict between the sexes, in which Moore clearly criticizes male domination and misogyny. (Epstein) Moore viewed men as the dominant ones in a relationship, which is why he believed that women were better off alone if they could not be seen as equals. He takes a very bold stand by demonstrating this by using Adam and Eve, two very well known and admired figures in history. She uses these two not only to be understood by almost all readers of her poem, but also to make the reader questioneverything he believes to be true about marriage. These two truly iconic people set the example of marriage, one that Moore challenges in his poem. In Marriage she states that "Men are monopolists of 'stars, garters, buttons, and other glittering baubles,' unfit to be the guardians of another person's happiness" (Anthology of Modern American Poetry 329). By this he means that a woman cannot rely on a man to be happy because they are often too hypocritical. This can also be seen when he states that "he loves himself so much, / he can afford it" (Anthology of Modern American Poetry 330). Since men are so self-centered, they cannot give all of themselves to someone else. For this reason he loves himself more than he could ever love any woman or make her happy. Moore states that men, or he in the novel, will "stumble" into marriage (Anthology of Modern American Poetry 327) and for this reason he also states that "'a wife is a coffin'" (Anthology of Modern American Poetry 329). One could argue that by this he means that men don't understand marriage or how to make a woman truly happy. If a woman is not really happy that she would even be sorry to be dead, that's why she compares being a wife to a coffin. The reason for this may be due to the social expectations that he, as a husband, places on her as a wife. He expects a wife to be patient, caring, tender and kind, but when she isn't he doesn't get what he expected: he feels tied to this person he doesn't know or understand. He demonstrates this in lines 184-185 when he states, “impatience is the mark of independence, / Not of slavery” (Anthology of Modern American Poetry 328). This is a quote that Moore uses when talking about Dianna, who was impatient. She was seen as someone who could not marry due to impatience, but in reality this was just a sign of independence and many people misunderstood this. All these qualities are what destroy a marriage. If society shed its expectations and made room for women to excel both as a mother and in her independence, then and only then can a marriage be truly successful. Moore closes his poem by stating that in a marriage people are "opposed to each other, not unity" (Anthology of Modern American Poetry 331). Like Moore, Frost argues that society's expectations impact a relationship. While it doesn't appear that Frost is completely advocating that he is "anti-marriage," it is clear that he is advocating that there is inequality between men and women. Robert Faggen begins his critique, “Robert Frost and Darwin's Challenge,” by stating that “the gender hierarchy of civilized and uncivilized, orderly and chaotic, male and female, becomes remarkably fluid” (Faggen). By this he means that there is a gender hierarchy in poetry. The poem alludes to the fact that in the home, women are considered superior. But because of gender roles that dictate who they should be and how they should act, no matter how “chaotic” they become, it is second nature and becomes an unconscious behavior. These gendered expectations of grief are quickly enacted in the poem during lines 36-38, "He said twice before he realized himself: / 'Can't a man speak of his own son he has lost?' / 'Not you! ... I'm not sure if anyone can do it.'" (Anthology of Modern American Poetry 113). Amy, the wife, refuses to accept her husband's way of grieving, but then denies him the right to grieve in the way he deems acceptable. As Faggen has argued, gender roles have become so fluid that her husband feels he must grieve in a way that Amy finds to be "thoughtless," but also so fluid that even when he offers her the compassion and consideration that.